|Everyonazis - a survey of Internet Nazi portmanteaus
||[Oct. 13th, 2012|03:24 pm]
Last night I was looking up some research on global warming and stumbled onto the term "environazi". I was a bit surprised; I had heard of feminazis, of course, but was environazi a standard usage? Or one site's idiosyncrasy?
So I googled it and found there were 25,400 sites using the term, including Environazi Quotes, Environazi Gifts, and even snazzy environazi outfits.
Of course I couldn't leave well enough alone. I had to investigate further.
Google adds another 18,000 hits for "econazi", including a a how-to guide if you want to become one. Why do so many people use the phrase eco-nazis? Because some people ARE eco-nazis, at least according to "Why Do I Call Them Eco-Nazis? Because They ARE Eco-Nazis" in the Telegraph. The econazis are not to be confused with the econonazis (135 Google results), who include such subspecies as the pro-growth econonazis, the beggar-thy-neighbor econonazis, and the mindless econonazis, although beneath these superficial differences econonazis are all alike.
The econonazis have their work cut out for them, because there seems to be an entire parallel Nazi economy. Instead of teachers, they have edunazis (591 results), who are currently on the attack and actively kicking in people's doors. Instead of farmers, they have agrinazis (ungoogleable because of conflict with Italian word) who thankfully are suffering setbacks but still strong enough to get their own FreeRepublic tag. And if you get sick, be sure you go to a doctor and not a medinazi (475 results) who have their own lobby group.
"Amerinazi" gives 13,500 results, and are apparently enough of a problem that their opponents run their own "Amerinazis Out!" blog, despite their continuing support among Afghans. They can apparently be recognized by their symbol of a swastika sloppily paperclipped to an American flag (this site has one of the best header graphics ever).
But there are also Anglonazis (1,150 results, a disproportionate number of them from Ireland), Sinonazis (1,130 results), Japanazis (23,600 results, including comic book villain Dr. Japanazi who based on the panel to the right I have decided to take entirely seriously), and of course the Euronazi Union (4,670 results), with three different choices of flag (1, 2, 3) and their own Twitter hash tag.
Of course, one country manages to blow all the others in Nazism. Not Germany ("Germanazi", 1,120 results), not Austria ("Austrianazi", 114). But, of course, Israel ("Zionazi", 27,600 results). They also have their choice of several attractive flags (1, 2) and are monitored by charming organizations with names like Zionazi Watch, The Zionazi Report and Our Zionazi Nation (led by a captain!). You may also want to read Zionazi Quotes, especially given its own recommendation that "This could be the most mind shattering thing you have ever heard of. If this won't blow your mind, nothing will, or you don't have anything to blow, just as ZioNazis openly state it about 'goyim' - non-Jews". And yet for all their Internet presence, the Zionazis are outnumbered by their enemies, the Palestinazis (77,400 results), although a large number of these seem to have been posted by a very, uh, special Internet commenter (examples here, here, and here).
In terms of religion, the Christonazis (4,500 results) are divided into various denominazis, such as the Cathonazis (1,240 results, but most are just Urban Dictionary), the Presbyterianazis (9 results, all from the same guy commenting on the American Spectator), the Calvinazis (6,900 including this one; I have no idea whether this blog supports or opposes Calvinazism, but whatever their opinion is it sure seems strongly held), and Mormonazis (356 results). Protestanazis were ungoogleable because they conflicted with people engaging in the perfectly legitimate pasttime of trying to protest a Nazi, and same for Lutheranazis because they conflicted with people asking "Was Martin Luther a Nazi?" (answer: pretty much)
Other religions seem less well-represented; there is only one Buddhonazi, 700 Hindunazis (although they do have their own political party and think tank), and thankfully zero Baha'inazis (well, one, after Google indexes this article). And then...oh, wow: 59,200 Islamonazis, with their own YouTube propaganda videos, symbolology, and proposed states. Also, "Islamonazi History Versus Ron Paul Fantasy: Part One may be my favorite name for anything, and I would totally watch the full-length motion picture version of that if it came out.
Oh, and apparently 38,400 web pages use the word "judeonazi" without any hint of irony.
There are 8,800 results for "Satanazi". I dunno. "Satanist" seems bad enough already that adding a Nazi portmanteau might actually make it less evil. But to be fair, the Satanazis don't seem to take themselves very seriously: three of the first page results were "Rise of the Planet of the Satanazis", "Return of the Satanazis", and "Satanazis III: Night of the Satanazis". A lot of the rest of them seem to be death metal albums, which is actually almost the only place where the word "Satanazi" is totally appropriate and which I now kind of want to listen to. But before you start feeling too relieved, this article on the Satanazistic conspiracy running the pharmaceutical industry seems pretty serious.
Politically, we encounter Republinazis (16,000) who are on the rise and apparently the party "of the Forth Reich". But don't criticize the people who use the term; they asked to make sure it was ok first. Their enemies the DemoNazis are mostly ungoogleable due to conflicts with demos of Nazi games, but they are apparently fighting a War On Women (much like everyone else) and they might be the retarded cousins of logic, which is actually one of the most interesting insults I've ever heard. You! You're logic's estranged great-aunt!
Oh, and there are 42 results for libertarianazi. Some libertarianazis are child molesters and others (hopefully different individuals) are getting your tax refunds. But all of them support a limited government constitutionally barred from interfering in the lives of ordinary individuals. Just. Like. Hitler.
Homonazis (9,200 results) are not what you think, and I admit this particular piece of homonazi propaganda is not exactly what I imagined. But they're doing pretty well for themselves: they are assaulting the Western Culture ethos, twisting and manipulating half-truths, and even holding a Holocaust at Starbucks, which at least seems like a nice place for it. Also, at this point no one should be surprised that Free Republic has its own "homonazi" keyword. Maybe it is a bit extreme to compare the 5-10% of the population who just have a different sexual orientation with Nazi Germany...but maybe not!!!
By comparison, there are only 113 heteronazis, and they seem sort of pathetic even despite their state-subsidized white male heterosexual privilege (there is, as yet, no specific heteronazi privilege, but it's only a matter of time). Most of them just take refuge in caves, trying to obtain health insurance and talking about Rainbow Dash from My Little Pony. We should be careful, though. They seem to be forming a league.
Find this hard to believe? You may be a skeptinazi (1,990 results). This term seems on sound scientific footing, as there is an investigation into the neuropsychology of skeptinazism and a whole essay on the ideology of skeptinazism. Their arguments have been dissected and placed into flow-chart form, and there is even a formal Skeptinazi Fallacy.
(as I was reading that page, an ad popped up: "Searching for skeptinazis?! Stop searching! Find them here!" No.)
"Feminazi" does remain, however, the granddaddy of all Nazi portmanteaus (is that sexist? Should it be grandmommy?) with 514,000 Google results. Which is disappointing, because I've been informed that everyone who uses the term "feminazi" is a "misogynazi", a term which itself has 1,390 results and its own twitter hashtag. "Mascunazi" has 2,720, and is defined as "a fanatical men's rights proponent", but honestly I'm not feeling it and this may be the only word on this list where if I just encountered it randomly I'd have no idea what it was supposed to mean.
I should probably stop there, lest I become a blogonazi. And "blogonazi" seems like a good place to point out that Google result counts are notoriously inaccurate; the word lists 1,540 results on the first page, but if you go to the second page it cuts off halfway and admits there were only 15. And several of those results are sarcastic (for example, Stephen Colbert seems to have used the term once), and several others are speculative straw men (eg "My opponent probably thinks of me as a blogonazi, because he's such a crazy extremist") Even when there are real results, it might get duplicated several times. Between these four caveats, literal non-sarcastic uses of the phrase may be 10% or less of the results listed (although a quick search suggests that in a few cases they are significantly more). So I don't claim this to be remotely scientific in methodology.
But then again, if that bothers you, you're probably a scienazi (269 results, including global warming scienazis, anti-creationist strawmen accusations of scienazism, and scienazi-tology.)