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An ode to the occasion [Jan. 21st, 2013|12:53 am]
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There's nothing like snowfall on Christmas
As bundled-up carolers sing
But those who interpret the Bible
Say Jesus was born in the spring

A groundhog can't tell you the weather
It's just superstitious old lore
St. Valentine's only a legend
St. Patrick is hardly much more

The Founders declared Independence
The fine day of 2nd July
The parchment was not signed till August
Your history book was a lie

Columbus was beaten by Injuns
And Vikings traversing the ice
He mostly just tortured the natives
And otherwise wasn't so nice

Thanksgiving might not have had turkeys
It certainly didn't have peace
The Indians died by the thousands
From famine and war and disease

And that's why I like MLK Day
It has honor most holidays lack
They agree that the Reverend existed
And indeed, he might well have been black.

[User Picture]From: ari_rahikkala
2013-01-21 07:24 am (UTC)
Just watch out when in a couple of hundred years he's been combined with half a dozen different people and they celebrate how MLK freed the Japanese and academic publishing, and cast the snakes out of Ireland.
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[User Picture]From: squid314
2013-01-21 07:21 pm (UTC)
On January 21, if Martin Luther King sees his shadow at midday it will usher in a new era of harmonious race relations, but if he doesn't, it means six more weeks of oppression.

...omg, there is so much potential for a List of Holiday Chimeras
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[User Picture]From: Julia Wise
2013-01-22 02:13 am (UTC)
I grew up in Virginia, where we had "Lee Jackson King Day". As in Robert E. Lee, Stonewall Jackson, and Martin Luther King (note whose name is last). God knows what the future mythologists will make of that amalgamation.
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From: (Anonymous)
2013-01-21 08:38 am (UTC)
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[User Picture]From: mindstalk
2013-01-21 03:42 pm (UTC)
Glad I read that!
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From: deiseach
2013-01-21 04:10 pm (UTC)
For the honour of my nation's patron saint, I direct you to the Confessio and the Letter to Coroticus, which if not written by Patrick himself, were certainly written by a man of the same name :-)

I declare that I, Patrick, – an unlearned sinner indeed – have been established a bishop in Ireland. I hold quite certainly that what I am, I have accepted from God. I live as an alien among non-Roman peoples, an exile on account of the love of God – he is my witness that this is so. It is not that I would choose to let anything so blunt and harsh come from my mouth, but I am driven by the zeal for God. And the truth of Christ stimulates me, for love of neighbours and children: for these, I have given up my homeland and my parents, and my very life to death, if I am worthy of that. I live for my God, to teach these peoples, even if I am despised by some.
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From: (Anonymous)
2013-01-21 04:36 pm (UTC)
Mr. King was civil rights leader
a very great person men say,
but the long weekend is still just ploy,
Legends aren't born on a Monday.
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From: (Anonymous)
2013-01-21 05:27 pm (UTC)
I just want to point out that MLK was the only Communist sympathizer that Ronald Reagan liked enough to give a holiday.

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[User Picture]From: Eliezer Yudkowsky
2013-01-21 06:23 pm (UTC)
OMFG is this original?
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From: (Anonymous)
2013-01-21 10:01 pm (UTC)
I feel like the last line is a bit familiar, but googling it gives no other results. I'm guessing that it is.
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From: (Anonymous)
2013-01-21 10:43 pm (UTC)
I think Scott tends to cite, though there may be hints of homage. Possibly it's just that his usual wit turning ordinary and familiar-sounding phrases into amusing rhymes tickles the suspicious parts of our brains.
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[User Picture]From: squid314
2013-01-21 11:03 pm (UTC)
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From: komponisto
2013-01-22 07:17 am (UTC)
For some strange reason I'm hearing this set to a variation of "On Top of Old Smokey".
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2013-02-14 11:47 am (UTC)

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