| The Devil and Blaise Pascal |
[Aug. 30th, 2011|07:00 pm]
Scott
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I'm GMing a game of Dungeons and Discourse. I'm pretty sure no one playing a character reads this blog - if you do, then stop reading now or risk spoilers.
I gave one player an artifact called the Wand of Euterpe, which when pointed at a famous philosopher (and there are no shortage of those in the campaign) makes them sing a song about themselves and their ideas. Unfortunately, that means I have to actually write those songs.
Today I finished one for Blaise Pascal, and I am sufficiently proud of it that I need to show it off now instead of waiting for the game to progress to the point where someone might find it. So here it is:
The Devil Went Down To Paris
(can and should be sung to the tune of The Devil Went Down To Georgia)
The Devil went down to Paris, he was lookin' for a soul to steal
Saw Blaise Pascal hunched over a scroll and he said "Let's make a deal.
I've heard you play the fiddle; well, I'm a fiddle-player too
So I bet your soul against a fiddle of gold, cause I think I'm better than you."
Said Pascal: "Monsieur Le Diable, I can sing and I can dance
And I'm better than you - yes, I'm sure it's true, ninety-nine percent plus chance
And that fiddle of gold, well, if it were sold, it could feed me pretty well
But there's infinite disutility out of any chance of Hell
So my calculations tell me that my answer must be 'Non'
Now take your poisoned deals, say au revoir, and get thee gone."
Pascal, set your gains as X, and make your losses Y
Estimate your chance of winnin' and cross-multiply
On one side, P sub win times value (fiddle made of gold)
And on the other, P sub loss times soul!
Well, smoke comes out of the Devil's ears, but in his heart he knows he's beat
Since he can't get a soul he switches his goal, cause revenge to him is sweet
And he says "I've been outwitted, sure, and I guess I'm leavin' soon
But I'm still your guest, and I've one request: lemme fiddle you a tune."
[music]
The Devil puts down his fiddle, and now Pascal takes up his.
And he plays a tune he's been workin' on, and it sounds a lot like this:
Fire on the mountain, run boys run
One one one one two one one
Three three one one four six four
One one five and fiddle some more."
Says the Devil "It's infinitely bad to end that song and dance
And I won't tell you why, and I probably lie, but can you really take that chance?"
Blaise fills with trepidation as his calculations all turn out the devil's way.
And they say in the Paris catacombs, his ghost is fiddlin' to this day.
He's playin': "Fire on the mountain, run boys run
One one one one two one one
Three three one one four six four
One one five and fiddle some more." |
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