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Inverse Law of Scientific Nomenclature [Oct. 23rd, 2010|02:26 pm]
Scott
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I may have mentioned before my theory that the more effort something makes to sound scientific, the less scientific it actually is. Take black holes, for instance. They don't sound scientific at all, but they're pretty well grounded in theory and observation. Compare that to Creation Science, which has "science" right in the name - and the same is true of Christian Science, which if anything is even less scientific than ordinary Christianity. Compare "astrology", which has the coveted -ology ending, to "astronomy", which doesn't - or "graph theory" to "graphology". So the more "ology"-s and science references in a word, the less likely it is to describe anything genuinely scientific.

It is, of course, a notable prediction of this theory that the least scientific idea possible would end up called "Scientology".

Or so I thought! Last night, I discovered there was a movement called "Factology". Obviously this requires further investigation!

According to Wikipedia, Factology, also called Nuwaubianism, is a black supremacist religion based in Georgia and founded by a Mr. Dwight "Malachi" York before he was locked up for child molestation. It believes in an eclectic mix of Bible stories, aliens, and racism. I can't find any mention of exactly how many adherents the religion has, but mentions a few hundred of them living in one of their compounds, and a few famous musicians and such who believe in it, so it seems large enough.

What separates it from other cults with hilarious names and child molesting leaders is its unusual beliefs. Many derive from a process York calls "Sound Right Reasoning", which means that if two words sort of sound alike, you can draw any conclusions whatsoever you want from that. For example, all (presumably non-Nuwaubian) books must be lies, because "library" sounds like "lie-bury".

But surely they don't just randomly draw crazy conclusions based on a few words that sound the same, do they? Well, here's a quote from their Wikipedia article, about "examples of movies with encoded content about the reality of aliens among us":
"Yoda… is short for Judah. Freemasons are inspired by one entity and that is a grey, by the name of Yoda. Yoda guides Freemasonry back to Judah, with the ancient Israel masonry. The British "Covenant Of Man" symbolizes the empire striking back. America is the empire fighting to overthrow Europe.… The word Yoda is not an English word as you have been led to believe. Its root word yawdaw appears 111 times in the Old Testament, means "to give thanks or praise, throw down, cast, shoot." The word Yadah meaning, to "to praise, give thanks" stems from the root word Yawdaw and appears only two times in the Old Testament (Daniel 2:23, Daniel 6:10). Not to mention the fact Yoda played in [the film] Return of the Jedi, and the word jedi is the same as yeti, it’s just a matter of a letter, it’s really the same word. Yeti is the name of Sasquatch (Bigfoot), also called Seti which is equivalent to the Extraterrestrials called the Seirians."

So because Yoda sounds like a Bible character, he is the secret leader of Freemasonry. And Obi-Wan Kenobi is a sasquatch. Ho-hum. Surely they can get crazier than that. Let's go on to their discussion of the gnostic demon-god Samael:
"Sam is short for one of his titles, Samael, meaning “poison those of EL.” He knows his name. He calls himself Uncle Sam or Dr. Seuss (Zeus) with his famous statement, “Sam I Am, I Am Sam.” This is what they teach the children; not ours however, for they will get right knowledge."

Okay, so Uncle Sam is a gnostic demon, as revealed by Dr. Seuss who is secretly the king of the pagan gods. But can they get even crazier?:
"White people were bred to be food, and the "rapture" expected by Christians is really the return of the "raptors" who will dine on the now-ripe delicious white flesh."

o_O
...Did they just say that the Rapture will involve actual raptors?! That's...that's awesome. I would totally watch a movie based on this premise. If this religion thing doesn't work out, Dwight York should go to Hollywood. He's already into child molestation, so he'd have no trouble becoming an Academy Award winning director. And then we could get a Left Behind/Jurassic Park crossover. IT. COULD. HAPPEN.


---


But Factology has more than just an entire theology based on puns. It also has false information about white people!
"The Caucasoids Has Thinner Skin Than You, Thinner Flank Hair, Lighter Eyes, With No Soul. The Caucasoid Try To Claim That The Only Difference Between A White Man And A Black Man Is The Skin Color, However, The DNA Analysis Which Is Under Your Black Or White Skin, Determines That Under The Skin, The Whole Structure Of These Two Races Are Totally Different."

Awwww, it's like he was going to try to write in ALLCAPS but realized at the last second he wasn't man enough.
"The Caucasoid Breath Differently Than The Negroids Do. We As Negroid, Breath In Thru Our Nose, While The Caucasoids Breathe Mostly In Their Mouth. The Caucasoids Are Trying To Intake Your Breath That You Breath Out, Because They Need It To Keep Their Pilot—Lunar Plexus Lit Inside To Try And Re-light Their Central Light."

White people are mouth-breathers who are trying to steal Precious Bodily Fluids?
"The Caucasoid Breed In Litters Like Animals, 6 Or 7 At A Time, While Negroids Give Birth To 1 Or 2 Babies At A Time."

Um. Is it possible that Dwight York has lived in the United States his entire life and never actually met a white person?


---


Also, here is a list of statements listen on the Wikipedia article as "Other Nuwaubian Beliefs":
It is important to bury the afterbirth so that Satan does not use it to make a duplicate of the recently-born child

I TOLD YOU the placenta was evil!
Each of us has seven clones. Clones are in tune with each other unconsciously and linked etherically, which means anything that happens to you the cloned counterparts of you feels also. For instance you may feel a sharp pain, for no apparent reason like your hand may feel like it has been cut and that is because your clones hand may have been. You can have an emotional break down out of the "clear blue sky" because one of your counterparts did. For instance me, I have had smoke come out of my mouth, it was a strange tobacco, for no apparent reason. It turned out my duplicate in Tibet smokes and the smoke came through me. I do not smoke anything.

"...you've got to believe me, Officer."
Nikola Tesla was a Venusian

I endorse this belief.
The pig was created by [Egyptian architect] Imhotep

Which is why, even to this day, all pigs are pyramidal in shape.
The Illuminati have nurtured a child, Satan's son, who was born on 6 June 1966 at the Dakota House on 72nd Street in New York to Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis of the Rothschild/Kennedy families. The Pope was present at the birth and performed necromantic ceremonies. The child was raised by former U.S. president Richard Nixon.

I KNEW that Nixon was up to no good!
Some aborted fetuses survive their abortion to live in the sewers, where they are being gathered and organized to take over the world.

This is actually the most terrifying thing I've ever heard. I would say someone should write a horror story based on this, but I would never be able to sleep again.

I tried to get more information off of the cult's own website, but I can't shake the belief that it was written by a Japanese speaker with only a medium level of English-proficiency. It looks exactly like the sort of thing some of my students in Japan would write for their assignments, right up to the odd use of "let's":
Our Savior, Dr. Malachi Z. York, let’s unite in the facts he constantly receives, writes & speaks. He is the author of the scrolls mentioned on this website, unless noted otherwise. He’s not claiming to be “Christ,” and even wrote a book entitled, I Don’t Claim To Be (it’s out of print).

They said cult he said culture. They said believe, he said be lying to Eve’s seed. They said theology he said factology. He’s been teaching for over 30 years by writing over 360 books on every subject under and over the Sun (think about that). Tapes of his lectures called “True Light” have broadcast all over the country and books have been translated for others worldwide. Undisputable Facts!

The site ends by asking:
How right does a man have to be before you accept his divinity?


I feel confident saying this is a question that will continue to go unanswered for a long, long time.


---


But I can't help but wonder. Mr. York has made his living by applying the principle of "find secret meanings in words" to the works of others. What happens if we try to apply that principle to his own writing?
"York has claimed to be an extraterrestrial master teacher from the hypothetical planet Rizq. York wrote, 'We have been coming to this planet before it had your life form on it. In order to get here I travelled by one of the smaller passenger crafts called SHAM.'"

...ah, forget it, it'd be like shooting fish in a barrel.
linkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: esper3k
2010-10-23 02:32 pm (UTC)
If I were black, I'd want to be a Factologist.

C'mon, you can't get a more legitimate sounding profession than that!
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[User Picture]From: maniakes
2010-10-23 05:52 pm (UTC)
I may have mentioned before my theory that the more effort something makes to sound scientific, the less scientific it actually is.

We see a similar principle at work with the People's Democratic Republic of Korea.
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[User Picture]From: squid314
2010-10-23 11:47 pm (UTC)
People's Super Happy Democratic Not A Horrifying Personal Playground For An Insane Despot With Dynastic Abilities At All Of Korea.
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[User Picture]From: veronica_milvus
2010-10-23 05:53 pm (UTC)
Dwight Yorke is a footballist and former partner of Katie Price aka Jordan. Or at least, he has the same name and therefore is, by Factology standards, the same entity.

If so, it wouldn't be the first time a footballist went crazy. Google David Icke, former Coventry City goalkeeper, who also invented a religion.
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[User Picture]From: squid314
2010-10-23 11:19 pm (UTC)
Space lizard guy, right? I have a habit of measuring the insanity of insane ideas in milli-Ickes. I should start doing that again.

But no, this isn't the footballer.
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[User Picture]From: cynicalcleric
2010-10-25 02:52 am (UTC)

I have a habit of measuring the insanity of insane ideas in milli-Ickes. I should start doing that a

You should. This is awesome.

I will always remember reading Marvel Ultimates and when its revealed that the bad guys are Shapeshifting Nazi Repitloids From The Lower Fourth Dimension I just about died from laughter because I recognized that is an actual conspiracy theory.
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[User Picture]From: turil
2010-10-23 06:37 pm (UTC)
The scientific way of judging how scientific an idea is, is by how adamant people are that others believe it. The more negatively emotional (aggressive, desperate, angry, insulting) they are about whether or not others agree with them, the less objective they probably are.

Sure, it's possible that they really are trying to sell you an idea that is indeed useful and generally accurate, but for the most part, people who are thinking logically are functioning healthfully in their parasympathetic nervous system and are genuinely at peace with themselves and their vision of the future, and they know that the truth speaks for itself, and doesn't really need a PR person. So rather than trying to force you to believe something, they just say "test it out for yourself", and encourage you to think for yourself. :-)
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[User Picture]From: squid314
2010-10-23 11:18 pm (UTC)
Counterargument: evolution. The people who defend evolution against creationism are generally very pushy, adamant, and more than a bit insulting toward creationists. But I'm still pretty sure they're right.
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[User Picture]From: turil
2010-10-23 11:34 pm (UTC)
The theory of evolution might be right, but the people who "defend" it are doing it for irrational reasons. Their argument has very little to do with the truth and more to do with feeling the need to attack someone. They just happened to pick that topic to fight about. And you can see the evidence of this in their wholesale rejection of religion, even when science itself shows that it can be useful.
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[User Picture]From: cakoluchiam
2010-10-23 08:14 pm (UTC)
fwiw, I accept your divinity, oh Squid-God of Time Nift
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From: (Anonymous)
2010-10-23 11:15 pm (UTC)
It's a counter-signalling thing, right? If you're trying to be taken seriously you take a name like "Computer Science". If you're the hardest of the hard sciences on the other hand, you might decide even "Big Bang" doesn't go far enough and opt instead for, say, "Horrendous Space Kablooie".
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[User Picture]From: ciphergoth
2010-10-23 11:17 pm (UTC)
Oops, that was me, sorry!
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[User Picture]From: ice_hesitant
2010-10-24 06:52 am (UTC)
I think aborted fetuses have been done.

What the world needs is a story about all the sperm a man has ever shed joining together into a huge blob in the sewers, screaming with the rage of a billion sperm babies, and coming to kill him once he turns a certain age. An unstoppable blob of killer sperm that kills its fathers.

Also, same thing but with menses.
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[User Picture]From: alexey_rom
2010-10-24 10:26 pm (UTC)
After reading this I was sure that this has to be a great example of Wikipedia vandalism. Who could believe anything that stupid? Apparently not *sigh*
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[User Picture]From: cynicalcleric
2010-10-25 02:54 am (UTC)
I'm sure by now someone has submitted a movie script based on Nuwaubianism at least once but had it rejected as "too unrealistic".
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From: dantalion64
2010-10-25 01:07 pm (UTC)
The only thing this awesome religion is missing is Dolemite.
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[User Picture]From: nee_chan
2010-10-26 02:43 pm (UTC)
^_^ Your posts always make my day better.
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From: graham_bwg
2010-10-28 10:55 pm (UTC)
You’ve presented intriguing observations about some clearly odd religious viewpoints. However, the mention in your introductory paragraph about Christian Science being “less scientific than ordinary Christianity” warrants a comment. There is plenty of evidence supporting the effectiveness of Christian Science. It’s founder, Mary Baker Eddy, called it “Science” because it’s based on laws of God that are found reliable when applied conscientiously as the basis of prayer for resolving all kinds of problems. As with any scientific pursuit, a deeper study of it opens fresh possibilities. Whether or not one agrees with Christian Science, its logicality and practicality are well established.
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[User Picture]From: squid314
2010-10-29 11:50 am (UTC)
Link to peer-reviewed studies in major journal that support your viewpoint?
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From: graham_bwg
2010-10-30 10:16 pm (UTC)
Much of today’s thinking concludes that all being and consciousness has a physical basis. On the other hand, there are serious thinkers, including respected medical faculty, who feel
that approach is inadequate. For example, the book “Irreducible Mind” (by Kelly and Kelly, paperback 2009) is by experienced medical people, looking at the subject of consciousness, and examines a great deal of empirical evidence not admitted by the materialistic approach, but supporting non-material aspects of life. Christian Science (the above book is not associated with it) deals directly with non-material aspects of living, thus needing a different method from the physical. It is best evidenced by the many lives transformed and benefited by it. As with most schools of thought, some may not support it, but it uses an approach beyond the merely physical that warrants a place in our modern world.
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[User Picture]From: squid314
2010-10-31 07:07 pm (UTC)
There is certainly a respectable minority of scientists who think there is something separate from the physical world, just as there is certainly a respectable minority of scientists who believe in UFOs. But just because scientists believe something does not make it science. It only becomes science once it has been investigated in a scientific method.

I don't accept that investigating nonphysical events can't use the scientific method. The scientific method isn't just test-tubes and particular accelerators. It is essentially looking, seeing, and measuring, thus the assertion that "there is no such thing as science" separate from everyday life. Many nonphysical spiritual claims have been investigated by science - for example, faith healing has been investigated by seeing if people who undergo faith healing actually get better, and Out of Body Experiences have been investigated by testing whether people who have such experiences can correctly describe places they have never been in their physical bodies. In every case so far, when this issues are investigated on their own terms, but in a rigorous and repeatable way, they've been found not to exist.

You've said only that some people without evidence support a method which is sort of like Christian Science, which is very far from what it would take to convince me that Christian Science is defensible.
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From: graham_bwg
2010-11-02 09:14 pm (UTC)
Oh, you’ve brought up some very interesting points here, and to delve into them thoroughly would take more than either of us could address here. Our world has entered a period where science has become a highly dominant feature of what we believe, and how we live. The etymology of the word “science” relates to knowledge, and that’s not the same thing as what is typically regarded as the modern physically-constrained scientific method.

Much remains to be done in developing scientific methods. Even the peer review process has major flaws, and too frequently our research isn’t as objective as is claimed (possibly including the examples you mention.) Here’s an interesting recent article about the pitfalls of scientific research: http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/print/2010/11/lies-damned-lies-and-medical-science/8269

As mankind progresses, there may well be phenomena and experiences that can’t be tested satisfactorily using the typical scientific method, and empirical evidence isn’t necessarily inadequate or unreliable. (Here I’m not thinking about things like UFOs.)

I recall years ago working with an astronomy professor who one day made the remarkable statement that he didn’t consider there was a truly fundamental discovery in physics since the discovery of the periodic table, - right or wrong, he provides food for thought.

There is a tendency to ignore the power and working of the human mind, and it’s likely that we have a lot more to learn about it. This may demand a willingness to think out-of-the-box in ways we haven’t yet considered. (I’m referring to improving our knowledge of basic truth and fact, not mystical or supernatural beliefs.)

Neither of us is likely to convince the other re these issues, of course, but that doesn’t matter. It’s a deep and interesting subject. Thanks for giving me the opportunity to think about it a little further.
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[User Picture]From: gwern branwen
2011-08-19 02:27 am (UTC)
York has been quoted by his followers as saying that he is a Republican and so Nuwaubians are encouraged to vote Republican.
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