Stuff
Last month, I suggested Barack Obama was a demon. In the comments thread, ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif)
monolith94 voiced his suspicion that John McCain was a lich. At the time, I tentatively agreed with him, but I made a mental note to do some more research into the subject.
That research is now over, and has unsurprisingly revealed HORRORS BEYOND YOUR WILDEST NIGHTMARES!!!
See, there's been a lot of discussion about BHO's name. "Obama" sounds too much like "Osama". "Hussein" sounds too much like "Saddam Hussein". "Barack" sounds too much like "Borg". And so on in that vein. But people have remained surprisingly silent about the name of his opponent.
"McCain" is an old Scots-Irish name, dating back from the age of the great Celtic clans. The prefix "Mc" derives from Gaelic "Mac", meaning "son of" or more figuratively "descendant of". So the descendants of a guy named Donald might form clan McDonald, the descendants of a guy named Neal might form clan McNeal, and so on. So the name McCain literally means "descendant of Cain".
Cain, of course, is the son of Adam and Eve, who killed his brother Abel. God cursed Cain, and doomed him to a life of wandering. According to common Biblical tradition, Cain has no living descendants; all modern humans come from Adam and Eve's third son Abel.
However, when I was at baddevil's place, I read through some of his RPG books. One set, for Vampire: The Masquerade, uses a mythology in which Cain is the ancestor of vampires. After murdering Abel, he finds solace with his stepmother Lilith, who teaches him the art of sucking blood and gathering supernatural powers from it. He then converts several "children" to vampirism, who convert "children" of their own, creating the modern vampiric race.
According to the game, vampires are vulnerable to sunlight and can't go out in the daytime. However, those vampires directly descended from Cain ("Antediluvians") have unknown powers and may be able to circumvent those rules. These vampires become great vampire lords, ruling vast clans and vying for political power.
I should also point out that the monster Grendel, villain of Beowulf, was listed by Anglo-Saxon mythology as a descendant of Cain.
So John McCain is at best a vampire lord and at worst Grendel. Further research is needed to decide between these two hypotheses; still, I'm going to go out on a limb and say you might want to vote for Obama.
