Stuff
So, I've been thinking maybe Barack Obama is a demon.
I mean, anyone who reads a lot of fantasy recognizes the basic story arc. A mysterious, tall dark stranger arrives in the capital and quickly gains the ear of the court. There's no particular reason why anyone should like him, but everyone who listens to him can't shake the feeling that he's a trustworthy, intelligent figure. When he's out of earshot, the nobles of the land plot against him, wondering how such a relative lightweight could dream of usurping their power - but as soon as he speaks to them in his smooth, calming voice, they immediately forget what they were going to do and join in the universal chorus of praise.
Of course, that stranger inevitably turns out to be a demon, with the power to charm minds. As soon as he's become the king's right hand man, he destroys the single talisman that maintains the magical protection over the land. The heroes are left wondering how they could have ever fallen under his spell.
Now, I'm not saying Barack Obama is definitely 100% a genuine demon. More likely he's a half-demon or something. I haven't RPed in a while, but I think the technical term is "tiefling". I mean, his mother checks out all right, but his father seems suspicious as heck. A "goat-herd" from "Nyanza Province, Kenya" who disappeared when Barack was two? Even ignoring the traditional symbolic connotations of goats, that's a big red flag right there.
Now, I know as well as anyone that, under certain extraordinary circumstances, tieflings can repent of their evil natures and become as decent and human as you or I. Maybe he honestly means the best for our country, and is only using his power to charm minds as a means to an end. Or maybe I'm already so deeply under his spell that I want to make excuses for him, to believe against all reason that he still has my best interests at heart...
I'm not saying not to vote for him or anything. I mean, clearly Hillary is the mythical Inuit ice witch Vuukisstaraangik, "She Who Comes In Winter To Launch Attack Ads Against The People". And of course, either one of them is still better than another four years of Republican rule. So it's not like just not voting for him is going to solve anything.
I'm just saying that we need to find the single talisman that maintains the magical protection over the land (in the case of the US, this is a copy of the Constitution written in George Washington's blood that keeps Aaron Burr locked in his extradimensional prison) and make sure a future Obama administration doesn't get their hands on it.
Sounds like it's time for a quest! Who's with me?!?
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squid314) wrote,
